I was five years old when my paternal grandmother passed away…my parents did not tell me. Years later they said she’d been sick from the day I was born… Hopefully, the two situations are unrelated! My thought is, my parents just wanted to protect me from the reality of death at such an early age. Of course, not long after that our dog ate our hamster so I was pretty sure we would never see him again. Hamsters are easily replaced, not so with grandmas.

My dad didn’t let on that he was sad, at least not to me. I never noticed a tear or a change in his daily pattern… up early and off to work, home at 5:30, dinner with the family, and an evening in his overstuffed easy chair. At five, I was fully into entertaining him with a silly dance, front and center. I would sing him little songs I knew or made up, then sit on his lap where we’d make silly faces, chat, or just sit quietly. More than anything, I just wanted to be where he was. Truth be known, I worshiped Him.

At the time, I had no idea that not only did I fully desire to be with my dad, but he also wanted to be fully with me!

I didn’t know this until I felt this way with my own two boys, and even moreso with my grandchildren. (Sorry, Sons!) I distinctly remember Christmas 2009 and how I was particularly encouraged by our little seven-year-old granddaughter, Kelsie. My dad had passed away the year prior and, due to illness, my mom could not be with us for our annual family gathering… for the first time in my entire life. I know now how blessed I was and am to have had her so long. So back to 2009 (I get sidetracked, in case you hadn’t noticed)… just as I began to feel quite melancholy and close to outright tearyeyed, along came Kelsie in her bubbly, carefree fashion…

Grandma, you want to come play with me in my room?

Did I? You better believe I did! Her love and inclusion snapped me out of my not-so-mini pity party faster than the smell of chocolate chip cookies! As we walked up the stairs to her room, my tears were replaced with her joyful childlike chatter and afternoon plans for us to dress up and play with all of her dolls! When Kelsie played, her entire room became a City of Barbies, American Girl dolls, Cabbage Patch dolls, Teddy Bears, puppets, Disney Princesses, My Little Ponies and then some! After all, it takes all kinds to make a City! And Kelsie… well, she just wanted someone to be fully there and I love her so much that I couldn’t help myself. The fact remained, I needed her to be fully there too, and she was…just at the right time. What joy she brought me then…and still does to this day!

Is that how my dad felt about me when he lost his mom? Did my silly dances, songs and faces keep him laughing, living and loving through the loss of his beautiful mother? Though I can’t speak for him, it sure rings true in my life with Kelsie, and her two siblings and three cousins!

And then of course there is our Heavenly Father… By now you are most likely expecting this part. 🙂 I have to think that since He planted these emotions in us as parents and grandparents, and since we are fashioned after His image, He feels the same way about us… only galaxies bigger, eons better and oceans purer!! And death is more of a reality to Him than we can ever imagine… How His heart must ache to see a soul He loves go into eternity without coming into relationship with Him. And then maybe at that very instant He catches a glimpse of you singing and dancing before Him in true worship, and His tears turn into a smile. Doesn’t that thought make you smile too?

“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” John‬ ‭4:23-24 NIV‬

“A single day in your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else! I would rather be a gatekeeper in the house of my God than live the good life in the homes of the wicked.” Psalms‬ ‭84:10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“Come, let’s shout praises to GOD, raise the roof for the Rock who saved us! Let’s march into his presence singing praises, lifting the rafters with our hymns!” Psalm‬ ‭95:1-2‬ ‭MSG‬‬

The bottom line… Not only do we fully need to enter our Heavenly Father’s presence in joyful worship, but He wholeheartedly desires to be fully in our presence as well! Like Kelsie, we can ask Him… “Father, You want to come play with me in my room?” My guess… He wants to! For reals! 🙂

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John 4:23-24 Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from NIV® Copyright 2011 by Biblica, Inc.®

Psalm 84:10 Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Psalm 95:1-2 Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.